I N T O T H I C K A I R
Our Inspiration: Brave English Mountaineers
But mad dogs and Englishmen
Go out in the midday sun.
- Noël Coward

Jimmy proceeds to climb around the room...
     In the spirit of Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton, Captain Robert Falcon Scott, Andrew Irvine, George Leigh-Mallory, Sir Edmund Hillary, and especially, the firm of Chapman, Cleese, Gilliam, Palin & Idle*, we ascended several of the highest points in the United States. (Alright - we know. Technically, Ed's a Kiwi, but he's still part of the Empire!)
     Here we list links to some of their most daring exploits:
* otherwise known as Monty Python's Flying Circus

 

 

Sir: Now let me fill you in. I'm leading this expedition and we're going to climb both peaks of Mount Kilimanjaro.

Bob: I thought there was only one peak, sir.

Sir: (getting up, putting one hand over one eye again and going to large map of Africa on wall and peering at it at point-blank range) Well, that'll save a bit of time. (looks at map with one hand over eye) Now, I ought to tell you that I have practically everyone I need for this expedition ... so what special qualifications do you have?

Bob: Well, I'm a fully qualified mountaineer.

Sir: Mountaineer? Mountaineer (looks it up in the dictionary) where the devil are they, mound, mount... mountain... a mountaineer: 'two men skilled in climbing mountains'. Jolly good, well you're in. Congratulations, both of you.

Bob: Who else is coming on the expedition, sir?

Sir: Well we've got the Arthur Brown twins, two botanists called Machin, the William Johnston brothers...

Bob: And none of these are mountaineers?

Sir: Well you two are, and we've got a brace of guides called Jimmy Blenkinsop... because Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply. But Jimmy's put his heads together and worked out a way up. (opens door) Jimmy? (Jimmy walks in wearing full climbing gear) I don't believe you've met. Jimmy Blenkinsop - Arthur Wilson, Arthur Wilson -Jimmy Blenkinsop... Arthur Wilson two -James Blenkinsop one, James Blenkinsop one - Arthur Wilson two. Carry on Jimmies.

Jimmy: (to Bob, reassuring him) Don't worry about the er ... (puts hand over eye) We'll get him up somehow. (Jimmy proceeds to walk round the room clambering over every single piece of available furniture. He doesn't stop talking. Causing a complete wreckage, he clambers over the desk, onto a bookcase and round the room knocking furniture over, meanwhile he is saying..) Now the approach to Kilimanjaro is quite simply over the foothills, and then we go on after that to... ohh... to set a base camp, somewhere in the region of the bottom of the glacier when... (Jimmy staggers out headlong through the door. There are loud crashing noises)

Sir: He'll be leading the first assault.

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Climbing the North Face of the Uxbridge Road

As featured in the Flying Circus TV Show - Episode 33

The cast:
VOICE OVER: Michael Palin
CHRIS: Eric Idle BERT: Graham Chapman
INTERVIEWER: John Cleese VIKING: Michael Palin

The sketch:

(Cut to mountain climbers, with all the accoutrements: ropes, carabiners, helmets, pitons, hammers, etc. They are roped together, apparently climbing a mountain.)
Voice Over: Climbing. The world's loneliest sport, where hardship and philosophy go hand in glove. And here, another British expedition, attempting to be the first man to successfully climb the north face of the Uxbridge Road. (Pull out to reveal that they are climbing along a wide pavement; a shopper pushing a pram comes into shot) This four-man rope has been climbing tremendously. BBC cameras were there to film every inch.

(Cut to a BBC cameraman clinging to a lamppost, filming. He is wearing climbing gear too. Cut to papier mache model of the Uxbridge Road, with the route all neatly marked out in white, and various little pins for the camps.)

Chris: (voice over) The major assault on the Uxbridge Road has been going on for about three weeks, really ever since they established base camp here at the junction of Willesden Road, and from there they climbed steadily to establish camp two, outside Lewis's, and it's taken them another three days to establish camp three, here outside the post office. (cut to a pup tent being firmly planted on the side of a large post-box; it has a little union jack on it.) Well they've spent a good night in there last night in preparation for the final assault today. The leader of the expedition is twenty-nine-year-old Bert Tagg - a local headmaster and mother of three:

(Cut to Bert crawling along the pavement. The interviewer is crouching down beside him.)

Interviewer: Bert. How's it going?

Bert: Well, it's a bit gripping is this, Chris. (heavy breathing interspersed)) I've got to try and reach that bus stop in an hour or so and I'm doing it by... (rearranging rope) damn ... I'm doing it, er, by laying back on this gutter so I'm kind of guttering and laying back at the same time, and philosophizing.

Interviewer: Bert, some people say this is crazy.

Bert: Aye, well but they said Crippen was crazy didn't they?

Interviewer: Crippen was crazy.

Bert: Oh, well there you are then. (shouts) John, I'm sending you down this carbiner on white, (there is a white rope between Bert and John)

(Quick cut to Viking.)

Viking: Lemon curry?

(Cut back to the street.)

Bert: Now you see he's putting a peg down there because I'm quite a way up now, and if I come unstuck here I go down quite a long way.

Interviewer: (leaving him) Such quiet courage is typical of the way these brave chaps shrug off danger. Like it or not, you've got to admire the skill that goes into it.

(By the miracle of stop action, they all fall off the road, back down the pavement. Passers-by, also in stop action, walk by normally, ignoring the fall.)
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